10 Insights Into the Gold Bar Romance Scam Snatching People’s Savings
AUTHOR: Dolores Quintana
Sadly, many older people are defrauded by confidence scams. In a popular Internet forum, a concerned person told the story of an ongoing fraud perpetrated by persons unknown to their father.
They detailed the story and stated, “My father who is 70, met this woman on an online dating app, Silver Singles, but has yet to meet them in person or even have a video call to see if they are even who say they are. She claims she has 4 million dollars worth of gold bricks and will give my father a chunk of the gold. When my sister and I heard this, we said, “This is a scam.”
We have tried convincing my father multiple times that this person is fake and not even who they say they are after showing him that this woman’s passport photos are not real and their profile picture was photoshopped. My father has been asking family and friends, including me, for money to try and help get his “future wife” out of a jam in Ghana.
I told him to give my number to this woman so I could talk to her, and she did phone me. I tried asking her questions, but she kept avoiding answering and making an excuse.”
1. It’s About Romance
While it might seem obvious, this is a crucial point about such scams. One commenter hit the nail on the head, saying, “It’s not about gold. It’s about romance. That person, who could be anyone, is just trying to extract money from your dad. It doesn’t matter who that person is. It matters that they’re trying to extract cash from your dad.”
2. 500 Hundred Thousand
Another forum member told this sad story, “My father gave $500k to a gold scam just like this. My sister and I had no idea how bad it was until his financial advisor “broke the law” and contacted us out of concern for his economic well-being. Fidelity, as did Chase, dropped him as a client due to international wire transfers.
The banks dropping him gave us ammo to make him realize it wasn’t real. Then we got his financial advisor to threaten to drop him unless he added my sister and me as co-trustees on his trust. That finally did it, and now he’s sad he “lost his friends.”
3. Get Family Involved
Making sure to inform and involve members of the entire family is vital to mounting an intervention against a scam. This individual stressed the importance of family involvement, “Mount a family intervention ASAP and get the police and social services involved. They may be able to appoint a temporary guardian to take over his finance as an emergency measure on the way to conservatorship.
They won’t be able to get the money back if he’s wired it, but they should be able to stop him from throwing in more money. AND get the ENTIRE family involved.”
4. You Can’t Depend On State Services
The most challenging thing about protecting members of your family against themselves is that frequently unless they are judged mentally incompetent, the state is willing to allow them to do whatever they please. More than one member stated that even state services meant to protect adults would back off if told everything’s fine.
This person shared, “I used to be a guardianship specialist for my state. Adult protective services would visit here, but if the client says I’m good, please chill. APS has to comply unless they feel the client is not mentally sound, in which case they have to get a preponderance of evidence to sue the person for their rights essentially, which is a lengthy process.”
5. Loneliness Makes You Vulnerable
A particularly poignant aspect of these types of fraud is how they target vulnerable people. As a user stated, “Romance scams are awful. I heard of one where a successful, clever businesswoman gave her “gold merchant” boyfriend 10k. He gave back 50k within a few weeks (a few lots of 10k from other women).
Next, she dropped 100k and has yet to hear from him again—the only reason he was caught is that he’s stupid as a sin. Unfortunately, lonely people are some of the most vulnerable.”
6. How Families Can Help
In our busy lives, we may not realize that elderly members of our families need attention. This wise commenter noted how they defeated a scammer simply by taking the time to keep their relative company. They told the story, “We realized that part of the problem was loneliness, as his wife had died, and this young woman was interested in him.
So my sister started taking more interest, including visiting him more frequently. We also involved his friends, who would take him out for breakfast. Eventually, we were able to show him it was a scam. Maybe you could spend time with him or enlist any friends to help. Even talk to him more, perhaps.
Sorry if you’re doing all this, but loneliness seems to be a crucial factor in these scams.”
7. You Can’t Teach An Old New Tricks. Use What Works
In today’s world, most of us accept reading things on computer screens as the norm. Older people might still be stuck in the mindset that they need to see items printed out before they will believe them. This individual gave the original poster some good advice and stated, “Print out everything you can about romance scams. They are usually overseas and cannot do something, i.e., access funds or have funds accessible for them, but somehow, a random stranger has access and can help her. This “woman” is after his money (it doesn’t sound like he has much), but this is typical.
I say print out bc that’s the only way my parents will believe it’s real. Suppose it’s on something tangible that they can hold and read. They never consent to video chat and only engage in minimal contact to keep the fish on the hook. My mom still gets her bills sent to her house but pays them online. She says, “the bills allow her to see more clearly what she is doing.”
8. AARP Can Help
This recommendation that came from a poster could be helpful. “Ask your dad to call the AARP (American association of retired people) fraud hotline. It’s set up to help older people avoid being scammed or help them after being scammed. You can even frame it as him “proving to you” that it’s not a scam by calling. https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/helpline.html“
9. Get Help From The Internet
Since this person is already asking for help from the Internet, this person suggested going deeper and going to the specialists on catfishing forums and recommended showing the victim videos that explain romance fraud.
They said, “Catfishing forums have people that could help you ID this scammer if you think that could convince your father. YouTube has many, but this channel specifically covers them, interviewing the victims and helping them uncover the lies and get past their extreme denial. You should also show him videos about how romance scams work.”
10. Cognitive Dissonance
A forum member approached the problem differently and advised educating the father about how this psychological principle works might be helpful. They said, “It’s called cognitive dissonance, and it’s tough to redirect someone through it. Here’s a good podcast on it that can help you understand. It may help solve the problem, but if you can get your father to listen, it could help. https://hidden-brain.simplecast.com/episodes/when-you-need-it-to-be-true-ki0zsgvx”
This thread brought you this post.
This originally appeared on AmmarRangwala.com.
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